Friday, 22 February 2008
The Inside of My Head Looks like a Really Bad Fingerpainting Made With Lots of Spoiled Food
I really need advice and not judgments. I know that you all are good at offering encouraging words.
I am so stressed out. I work full-time as a teacher and usually spend the night with Mya by myself because my husband works until 1:30 am. I pick her up from the babysitter around 3:45 (I leave for work at 6:30 am) and then we read stories, play, eat dinner and watch the Backyardagins. She is usually in bed by 6:30 (5:45 if she does not take a nap) and sleeps all night. I then grade, prepare my lessons, relax, I get me time. We spend the weekends together and my hubby is with her when he is off on Monday and Tuesday. Sundays are family days. I know that I have it easy. I know that I live like I am not a full time mom. But, I have to work and I want to work.
I have been off the last week and Mya has not been at the sitter. She has been a handful. She won't nap. She is defiant. She throws things and hits me and has tantrums. I know that she is doing normal toddler things- 22 months old going on teenager. But I am stressed. I am tired. I want her to sleep so I can get some me time. I would actually rather be at work.
There are other things going on too. I have a toothache (actually about 6 of my teeth hurt and I can't get to the dentist for two weeks- another story).
And the most pressing thing on my mind. We have a houseguest. My husband’s friend (He Who Has Taken Over (HWHTO) is staying with us indefinitely. It was a good idea at first; lend a helping hand to a friend in need. But, the road to hell is often paved with good intentions and let me tell you, hell’s headquarters is located in my living room. Without going too much in to detail, HWHTO moved back to our state after being away for 5 years. He moved without a job (although there was a prospect that did not pan out) and with a rapidly dwindling savings account. He moved in with another friend, who after dealing with months of HWHTO being without an income, basically kicked him out. We opened our home to him because that is what friends do.
MIS-FRICKIN’-STAKE.
He drinks. All day. He is not discriminating. He seems to start drinking at 10:00 AM and while I am not against people having a drink now and then, he drinks all the time. And for someone who does not have an income, spending money on drinks is not a very good idea.
And, we have a child. I don’t want my daughter subjected to this kind of behavior. And I should not have to talk to a 32 year old about proper behavior when you are living with some one for free. But, apparently, he missed the “don’t be selfish” class that we took in like Kindergarten.
And let’s talk about a few other things. He can’t close the bathroom door after using it despite constant reminders. He forgets to lock the front door. He doesn’t put the toilet seat down (I have never had a problem with my husband doing that so this is VERY annoying) . He doesn’t wash dishes unless I ask him to and even if he does, he won’t wash the pots. And he never washes all the dishes at once.
Oh and did I mention that he was offered a job and did not take it. His reasoning is not very logical and hey, dude, your living with some one for free. You can’t pass up a job. You have nothing.
My husband wants to talk to him. He is annoyed, but I told him to wait to see what this week brings. I don’t want their friendship to be ruined because I have been having a few rough weeks.
I'm at a loss. I feel like a horrible mother. And to boot, today is the 5 year anniversary of the loss of our first daughter Samantha Michelle.
I just need some words of encouragement. TIA.
I am so stressed out. I work full-time as a teacher and usually spend the night with Mya by myself because my husband works until 1:30 am. I pick her up from the babysitter around 3:45 (I leave for work at 6:30 am) and then we read stories, play, eat dinner and watch the Backyardagins. She is usually in bed by 6:30 (5:45 if she does not take a nap) and sleeps all night. I then grade, prepare my lessons, relax, I get me time. We spend the weekends together and my hubby is with her when he is off on Monday and Tuesday. Sundays are family days. I know that I have it easy. I know that I live like I am not a full time mom. But, I have to work and I want to work.
I have been off the last week and Mya has not been at the sitter. She has been a handful. She won't nap. She is defiant. She throws things and hits me and has tantrums. I know that she is doing normal toddler things- 22 months old going on teenager. But I am stressed. I am tired. I want her to sleep so I can get some me time. I would actually rather be at work.
There are other things going on too. I have a toothache (actually about 6 of my teeth hurt and I can't get to the dentist for two weeks- another story).
And the most pressing thing on my mind. We have a houseguest. My husband’s friend (He Who Has Taken Over (HWHTO) is staying with us indefinitely. It was a good idea at first; lend a helping hand to a friend in need. But, the road to hell is often paved with good intentions and let me tell you, hell’s headquarters is located in my living room. Without going too much in to detail, HWHTO moved back to our state after being away for 5 years. He moved without a job (although there was a prospect that did not pan out) and with a rapidly dwindling savings account. He moved in with another friend, who after dealing with months of HWHTO being without an income, basically kicked him out. We opened our home to him because that is what friends do.
MIS-FRICKIN’-STAKE.
He drinks. All day. He is not discriminating. He seems to start drinking at 10:00 AM and while I am not against people having a drink now and then, he drinks all the time. And for someone who does not have an income, spending money on drinks is not a very good idea.
And, we have a child. I don’t want my daughter subjected to this kind of behavior. And I should not have to talk to a 32 year old about proper behavior when you are living with some one for free. But, apparently, he missed the “don’t be selfish” class that we took in like Kindergarten.
And let’s talk about a few other things. He can’t close the bathroom door after using it despite constant reminders. He forgets to lock the front door. He doesn’t put the toilet seat down (I have never had a problem with my husband doing that so this is VERY annoying) . He doesn’t wash dishes unless I ask him to and even if he does, he won’t wash the pots. And he never washes all the dishes at once.
Oh and did I mention that he was offered a job and did not take it. His reasoning is not very logical and hey, dude, your living with some one for free. You can’t pass up a job. You have nothing.
My husband wants to talk to him. He is annoyed, but I told him to wait to see what this week brings. I don’t want their friendship to be ruined because I have been having a few rough weeks.
I'm at a loss. I feel like a horrible mother. And to boot, today is the 5 year anniversary of the loss of our first daughter Samantha Michelle.
I just need some words of encouragement. TIA.
